Why my daughter should be a lawyer

Dr Seuss, now there's some inspiration for the cynical. Unless you're trying to read "Green Eggs and Ham" to an almost-three-year-old without going insane.

Me: "I am Sam... Sam I am."
Monkeyrina (pointing at the other character.) What's his name?
Me: He doesn't have a name.
Her: Why not?
Me: It's not important to the story.
Her: Why not?
Me: Well, it doesn't really come up. I call him Grumpy Grouch.
Her: Why?
Me: Because he's grumpy.
Her: Why is he grumpy?
Me: Let's read it and find out? "That Sam-I-am. That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am!"
Her: Why not?
Me: Because he's annoying. He keeps trying to make him eat green eggs and ham.
Her: Why?
Me: Because Sam-I-am thinks it's something nice to eat, and wants the Grumpy Grouch to eat it too.
Her: Why?
Me: Because when you eat something yummy, you want to share it with people. Let's get on with the story, shall we? "Do you like green eggs and ham? I do not like-"
Her: Is that his fat tummy?
Me: He's not very fat. He's more furry.
Her: Why? Is he an animal?
Me: No, well, not really. He's just a pretend person.
Her: Why is he furry if he's a person?
Me: (regretting mentioning the fur): It's his clothes. He's wearing a furry suit.
Her: Why is he wearing a furry suit?
Me: Come on, now. We've only read 3 pages and there are lots more to go.
Her: What's that in the ham?
Me: It's a fork to eat it with.
Her: Why?
Me: So they can eat the green eggs and ham. "I do not like green eggs and-"
Her: Why's it in the ham?
Me: (slightly hysterical) So it doesn't fall out. They're moving around a lot and they don't want to lose it. "Would you like them here or there? I would not like them here or there. I would not like them-"
Her: "ANYWHERE! I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-aAm."
Me: (relieved): "Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?"
Her: 'Mouse' and 'house' are very similar, aren't they?
Me: (impressed she knows the word 'similar'): Yes, they rhyme.
Her: Why? Why do they mime?
Me: They rhyme. They sound nice together.
Her: Why?
Me: (glancing at my watch): Because rhymes do. "I do not like them in a house, I do not like them-"
Her: Why's he furry?
Me: I told you. He's wearing a furry suit. Come on, now. "-with a mouse. I do not-"
Her: It looks like 'The Cat in the Hat', doesn't it, mummy?
Me: Yes. It's by the same person. Dr Seuss.
Her: Why is it by Dr Who?
Me: Not Dr Who. Dr Seuss. Those words sound similar too, don't they? (Desperately skipping several lines) "Would you eat them in a box?"
Her: Why's the box hanging in a tree?
Me: (Starting to giggle hysterically) Because it is! Because it is! Because that's what's in the picture!
Her: Why are you laughing, mummy?
Me: Because you won't let me read the book!
Her: Why won't I?
Me: Because you keep asking why!
Her: (with a smirk): Why?

My advice to government: use a toddler to interrogate suspects. They'd be broken in less than 10 minutes.