When I was pregnant, I bought a book called "101,000 Great Baby Names" and methodically noted all the names I was willing to inflict on my child. I ended up with a list of about 20. Let's not get distracted by what that says about me. One day, Mr Bryn said, "What about Monkeyrina?", which happened to be one of my choices, and, lo, a name was born. (I won't go into how the child was born. Just think about one of those horror films with a very slow build-up to the spectacular bloodbath at the end.) (And obviously her name isn't actually Monkeyrina, so don't call the authorities just yet).
Naming a company seems to be the opposite process. You think of the perfect name, you check its URL and the Companies House database, and if it doesn't already exist, nab it and start designing your logo, humming smugly to yourself. The catch, of course is the "if it doesn't already exist" part. Think of a name and chances are it's already in the "101,000 Great Company Names" directory, and if it's not, chances are someone claimed that URL five years ago in order to design the worst website in the world and take away your theoretical customers.
If you've been missing me on the blog (hey, thanks, guys!), it's because I've spent a week complaining to anyone who can't run away fast enough that I can't think of a company name. Well, that's not entirely true. I can think of several. It's just that other people thought of them first.
What would you name a small business specialising in writing, editing and communications consultancy? One that is marketing itself towards ethereal publishers as well as straight-talking local companies. And bearing in mind SEO keywords. Word Up? Done. Word Nerd? Done. My Word? Done (fortunately). More than Words? Done. Word Perfect? Done. Words Words Words? Done done done. How about something more memorable, perhaps a metaphor for clarifying the message? Glimmer? Done. Sparkle? Done. Oomph? Done. Something more energising - Zest, Refresh, Revitalise? No? Then how about something off the wall - Pink Faced Monkey? Not done, but racial undertones. Jutopia? Ah, now we're talking. "In Jutopia, communications are always clear. In Jutopia, customers always get the message. In Jutopia..." "Isn't Jewtopia Israel?" said my brother. Back to those racial undertones.
So what am I left with? The prosaic: Bayberry Communications. Whimsical but not particularly memorable. The professional: Sandford-Cooke Communications. Probably too posh for small enterprises intimidated by creative agencies. And the quirky: Text Tamer, with that pesky double T that will look wrong in a URL - not ideal for an editor.
If I don't get the name right, I could end up with something entirely inappropriate. My company could grow up to be the business equivalent of Daisy Boo, the high court judge, or Ethel Blenkinsop, the Hollywood actress.
You may be asking yourself why I'm worrying about the company name when I should be worrying about writing the business plan. And you'd be right - of course it's a delaying tactic to avoid having to calculate my 5 year projected forecasts. But it's also a pretty important thing - without a name, I can't register the business, which means I can't (legally) be paid. I can't build my website or set up an email address from which to contact potential customers.
What to do?
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